Optimism, Determination, and Desires
When looking back at 2020, I realized that everything about me was gloomy. I became more socially inept, I closed myself in my room more often, and I didn't get to hang with my friends as much as I wanted to. As winter came, my family's seasonal depression rates increased and our motivation to do anything productive plummeted. It got so bad that I didn't even want to get up out of bed some days. There were a few times where I did something that made me feel great, but they usually didn't last.
Thinking about how this year will turn out makes me feel very optimistic. Things finally seem to be going down the right track for once. My family's seasonal depression is slowly fading as winter starts to end. I have firmly established myself in a group of people, whom I met through my older brother, and we have been playing games together. School has also been going pretty well for me this year. In the past, I wasn't the best of students, but I have worked hard this last semester and I can finally say I enjoy school. It seems like my family has been coming together more and more now too. I don't if it's because I have noticed when we come together more now, or if my family has actually made an effort to see each other more often than usual. Either way, I am enjoying it and I hope the trend continues.
Along with all this optimism I have been feeling in the last few months, I have also gotten the determination to finally fulfil some desires that I have had for a long time now. The first and foremost desire that I need to fulfil is learning how to confidently drive. Because I had taken a course in Driver's Ed in the past, I have basic knowledge on the controls of a car and how to drive. My only issue is that I don't have any confidence in my ability to safely drive around others. I am determined to practice driving when the chance comes so when I am on my own, I can travel to places I need to go without relying on others. I am also determined to finally take a trip down to the city of St. Joseph. I had lived there for roughly 9 years before moving to Lansing/Okemos. I have some old friends I wish to see, and I want to go swim in the lake again. My wish may come sooner than I thought because my older brother has a girlfriend that live in St. Joe. The friends I play games with are also from there, so the time they have a gathering, I might just go too.
In the end, I am feeling great about 2021. With all the optimism I'm feeling, the desires I have, and the determination to fulfil those desires, I think I will have an amazing year. Hopefully anyone reading this also feels the same way and if not, than I hope you find these things soon.